“Have a love affair
with the sun,
and a romance
with the moon”
— (via forebidden)

(via explorblr)

December 2012
December is the coldest month. I am starting to see why.

January 2013
When you left, you took everything, and you were everything, and everything you left behind smelled like you. It is so dark.

I ran away from home.

February 2013
The city smoke chokes my lungs. I no longer like what I’ve become.

March 2013
Who knew you could still feel like drowning even when you were out of the water?

April 2013
We sampled memories from your collarbone. I was trying to figure myself out. I was trying to love the moon.

May 2013
We are told to hate cliches. Watching the sunrise was cliche, and so was meeting a mysterious stranger. He kissed me in my bedroom. He held my arms to stop the trembling. He turned me into a cliche.

It is not so dark anymore.
I walked out the door smiling to myself.

June 2013
My tongue has learned to forget you. I speak in his language instead. (I found someone else)

***

July 2013
Hope crawled in my corpse. You taught me how to inhale before stealing my breath away.

August 2013
I didn’t know how to swim in water. So I swam bedsheets instead. It is hard to forget you in the morning. When they leave and I am naked, without a blanket to hide under in.

September 2013
Got high and we painted the ocean until it kissed the sky. Stayed up the entire night, stayed up the entire morning.

It isn’t so bad. Being alive.

October 2013
My best friend told me not to play with fire. I got flames tattooed on the back of my hand and burned myself to the ground.

I am not Helen of Troy. But this a war story. It isn’t romantic. I am devastating only myself.

November 2013
Dusk swallowed nostalgia and impregnated my limbs. Write for better days to come.

December 2013
December is still the loneliest month. But I have learned to run with wolves. I am leaving you behind. I am finally letting him go.

January 2014
Sunburn peeling. Claw marks bleeding. Human skin has stories etched into every scar. They will heal. I am healing. What a beautiful battle I’ve become.

February 2014
Woke up and it no longer hurts, saying your name.

I’m okay.

Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Journal Entries 2013-2014

6 Months To Forget You

4 Months To Forgive You, 2 Months To Finally Fight For Myself

***

My poetry book Coffee and Cigarettes is available here.

Ships worldwide. Available on amazon. All proceeds go to my fundraiser. 

(via surfandwrite)

(via surfandwrite)

Come to bayshore to have a drink with me after the race! #halfmarathon #triingforkids (at Fatfish Wine Bar & Bistro)

“I run for my sanity. I run to clear my mind. I run to grow stronger. I outrun my fears. I outrun drama. I outrun my insecureties. I outrun everything that’s holding me back. I run because it makes me feel good. I run because I’m not afraid anymore. I run because I’m a warrior. I run because I finally figured out what the most important thing in life is. Me. I run because I love myself, and it’s the best feeling in the world.”
— Why I run (via soraiasway)

(via wigginsarmy)